I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Shame - the story of my life.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
