He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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