if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
