i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
