I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
