im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
