Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize