I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
