I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
