Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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