Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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