did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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