so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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