Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude i'm inner monologue high
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
