she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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