i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
