but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
