My nipple is on Facebook.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My feet surprised me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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