need another drink. this is the easiest way
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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