you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
