Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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