Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
