I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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