Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
