Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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