My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
