I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
