bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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