East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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