He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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