I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
