after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
