Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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