He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize