Soap is not a condiment
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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