Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
