It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
accomplished twins. life is a go
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize