You really coming over, don't trick.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
