I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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