I'm going to jail i love you
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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