I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
