I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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