DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
