It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
