Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
