you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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