Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
