I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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