I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
