If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize