Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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