shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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