I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize