I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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