I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
