Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
