let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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