dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
