By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
