Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
