my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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