I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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