They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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