1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
