try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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