You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize