There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
