I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I will pee on everything he values.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
