if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
