those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
