I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
