i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize