If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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