Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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