I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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