I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
