dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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