he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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